Nesting, Nerves & Baby Boy No. 2

Sep 10

Written By Kseniia

Hey mama,

I’m just a few weeks away from meeting baby boy number two, and I am officially in full nesting mode. One part of me is like, “okay, let’s go, I’m ready to meet him right now.” And then the other part of me is looking around thinking, do I even have my life together enough for this? My brain is basically running on a loop of: wash the onesies, fold the swaddles, stock the diapers, organize the pantry, google a random baby product at 2 a.m., repeat.

But the truth is, the to-do list isn’t the hardest part right now. It’s the emotions.

I am completely obsessed with Dimitri. He is my little best friend, the center of my universe. I can’t even fathom what it’s going to feel like to split myself between him and a newborn. Everyone says your love doesn’t divide, it multiplies—that somehow it just happens and you can’t imagine life before both kids. And I believe that, I really do. But sitting here, still pregnant, it’s wild to wrap my head around the idea of loving another baby as much as I love him.

At the same time, I’m so looking forward to it. I can’t wait to have another tiny boy to cuddle, kiss, obsess over, and pour my heart into. I can already picture myself falling into that newborn bubble with him. But then I circle back to the anxiety—how do I do that while making sure Dimitri still feels like my whole world, too?

Because he is still so little. He’s not even two. He’s still attached to me, and I’m still so attached to him. The thought of him feeling like he’s been replaced, or like he suddenly has to “grow up” just because there’s a new baby in the house, breaks my heart. That’s probably my biggest worry.

And then there’s the pressure of “soak up these last moments” everyone talks about. Like it’s the end of an era, and I should be memorizing every second before everything changes. Honestly? That mindset stresses me out more than it helps. I don’t want to feel like this is my “last time” with Dimitri—because it isn’t. My time with him isn’t ending. It’s just evolving. We still have a lifetime together, and he’ll always be my baby.

So that’s where I’m at: riding the waves of excitement, worry, overwhelm, and total anticipation as I get closer and closer to meeting this little guy.

And I’d love to hear from you—if you’re a mom of two (or more), did you feel this way before your second arrived? Did you wonder how your heart could possibly stretch? How quickly did you feel that same bond with your second?

Comment below and share your story with me. Because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt this mix of emotions—and I also know it all works out the way it’s meant to.

xx,